Inman Injurioso
Of Battles, injuries, and Pennsic War,
Of miracles and valiant deeds I sing.
In Times of deepest woe for Ansteor
When wounded was their greatest former King;
His back he wrenched, and so when'er he wore
His gear of battle mighty pains would bring
Him low. The field might never know again
The worth of Inman, great and mighty man.
2.
But even though his armor he'd not wear,
He took it with him, though could not say why.
The weight upon his back he could not bear;
His screams of pain would pierce the clouds on high.
So had it been for nearly one whole year;
That agony endured each time he'd try
To fight. But habits are quite hard to break
So Inman doth his arms to Pennsic take.
3.
Yet even as the days of battle draw
Ever closer does this noblest of Dukes
Feel his hunger for Mar's field gnaw
At his bones. Most bitterly he rebukes
The fickle Fates for giving him this flaw.
How cruel and how unnatural these flukes
Of circumstances which so painfully bar
His participation in this glorious War.
4.
So weighty is this burden on his heart
He feels his spirit surely soon will break.
It tortures him to idly sit apart
While all about the shores of Cooper's Lake
In every camp the men at arms do start
Their preparation for the battle's sake.
For East and Middle soon will take the field
To see which one contested land must yield.
5.
The first day of the battle starts at dawn.
(Two more shall come, for so the sides agree
That in this matter they shall test their brawn
By fighting not for one day but for three!
First champions, their dour swords now drawn
Shall fight, then armies will for victory
Contend. The next day in the woods they battle.
The third day Town and Bridge will test their mettle.)
6.
And as that first day dawns the Ansteor'ns
Do muster ere departing for the field.
Vowing vict'ry `gainst those whom they make war on,
And promising to never bassly yield.
Though facing foes as fierce as any gorgon
Each swears to come back with or on his shield!
Nor are these idle boasts these warriors sing;
They swear these solemn oaths to Queen and King.
7.
King Kein, who rules these men by right of arms,
Himself in armor goes now to the fight.
He pledged to face the least foe who would harm
His ally Tsuronaga's vested right.
And joining him, to Midrealm's great alarm,
Is Queen Alisha, famed in battle might,
Rivaling all the tales of Ancient slaughter
Told of Bradamonte, Aymon's daughter.
8.
In midst of this most busy preparation
There enters one lone figure, much beloved
By all those present, who with great elation
Salute him with raised fist in iron glove.
He asks if they will bear a brief oration
From one old Duke, deprived by God above
From marching with them out to win the day.
The Ansteorans gladly answer "Yea!"
9.
"Most worthy King and Queen," the Duke begins.
"And fellow Ansteorns who fight this day.
Though knowing you need not my help to win
A boon of pity from you I would pray.
My lot would seem to me a bit less grim
If, at least in spirit, I could join this fray.
(All know I would most happ'ly wield my glaive
But Pain doth hold me here her wretched slave.)
10.
"I beg from you who know my whole sad story.
Who fight while I, alas! must here remain.
Let me but borrow somewhat of your glory
To help me bear my lot of woeful pain.
If ever love you bore for this bent, hoary
Head of mine, which cannot fight again,
When first assault against the foe you make
Strike but one blow for poor old Inman's sake."
11.
The King and Queen and all the host are moved,
For he'd ruled Ansteora well for years.
Indeed, so great their feeling for him proved
That none succeeds in holding back his tears.
They promise they shall prove him most beloved
Of Ansteora's noblest Royal Peers.
"For Inman!" Now becomes their battle cry,
And swear the Mid shall fear it ere they die!
12.
And so now comes the Or and Sable Mullet
To march before the Tyger of the East
With hottest fire burning in each gullet
That only can be quenched by bloody feast.
Seeing them, the Dragon's spirit plummets,
Their aspect far more terrible than beasts!
And only harshest discipline hard won
Holds Ansteora back until "Lay on."
13.
"For Inman!" Calls the host with one fell voice,
And charges at the foe with all their might.
So terrible and warlike is their noise
That even Calontiri think of flight!
Their onslaught is so fierce it soon destroys
All who oppose them, be they squire or knight.
And so with deeds most valorous and bold,
The Ansteorans Inman's name uphold.
14.
When news of this great victory is heard
By Inman, he greets it with praise for all
Who fought so well. With simple, heartfelt word
He thanks his friends for answering his call.
His grace and bearing show he well deserved
Their loyalty and love. Yet their withdrawal
Stirs up again the cup of bitterness
That leaves Duke Inman in such great distress.
15.
The Duke's glad mask of happiness departs
When bosom comrades to their camp return.
This borrowed glory cannot ease his heart
Which for the call of battle fiercely burns!
As one who with his own hands crafted art,
The model's role may justly come to spurn,
If offered as a consolation prize
For losing in some accident his eyes.
16.
So wretched does poor Inman feel his fate
He even envies those the crows devour.
For they died well, with honor, and their mates
Will sing the praises of their fatal hour.
Yet he, a man of action and of great
Renown, now finds these joys beyond his power.
Slow torture to sit idly by the hearth
`Til death at last removes him from this Earth.
17.
The Angel's in their Heavens peering low
Feel for the great injustice of his plight.
That such a noble spirit now should know
Unending suffering cannot be right!
So they resolve to take the case and go
Before the One whose mercy and whose might
Can heal all hurts and put right any wrong.
Before the Holy Throne now comes the throng.
18.
Gabriel, as God's herald, says the most,
Trumpeting the good the Duke has done.
Then Michael, as war leader of the host,
Speaks of the battles that the Duke has won
For causes good and just. "Nor does he boast
Or show any other sign of sinful pride."
Says Michael. "So why are his prayers denied??
19.
The Lord the host to silence doth command!
They tremble at His anger now revealed!
He gives them each the sternest reprimand
for questioning his wisdom with such zeal.
For this, of course, was all His holy plan.
God purposely his purposes concealed.
To prove Duke Inman's character the best
He set the noble knight this fearsome test.
20.
By taking from the Duke his greatest love,
His prowess and his manly strength at arms,
God gave the noble knight a chance to prove
That all his virtues, fortitude, and charms
Came from within, not station set above
His fellow man. By showing grace without alarums
And excursions Inman, like Job, has risen
To highest ranks of praise on Earth or Heaven.
21.
"But now," concludes The Lord. "I do perceive
The time has come to heal Inman's back.
No longer should this paragon know grief
From any sort of suffering or lack.
Raphael! I order you at once to leave
For Earth's sphere and force Pain to retract
Her clutches from poor Inman. But beware!
No mortal man must know that you are there."
22.
(Alas this generation so wrapped up
In sinful error's blinding binding train,
That we would say a fellows in his cups
Or worse, he must be dangerously insane!
If our debas'ed discourse he'd disrupt
With tales of seeing angels clear and plain.
Therefore, so none will say that Inman lied,
Jehovah orders Raphael to hide.)
23.
To aid him in his task the angel takes
An artifact inviolate and pure;
Whose very holiness shall surely make
Pain flee lest, for a moment, she endure
That which did cause the very world to shake!
Which helped men in the martyring of Our Lord.
Indeed, I sing of nothing less to thee
Than this: the Sacred Hole of Calvary!
24.
That very hole the murdering legions chose
To hold the Cross upon Redemption's Mount.
Where they made mock of Him who bore our woes,
Who, for our sakes , stood tortures without count.
But afterwards, they found they could not close
With basest Earth what once had held the fount
Of holiness. So the Hole remained unclaimed
Until a worthy owner could be named.
25.
King Arthur was the first, so legend says,
To take from Golgotha the Sacred Hole.
He used it when attacking fortresses
Of evil folk, to burrow as a mole
Beneath their massive walls and buttresses;
In righteous battle taking fearsome toll.
Alas he lost the Sacred Hole I fear,
In that affair with Lancelot and Guenevere.
26.
The Sacred Hole comes next to Charlemagne;
Great help in fighting infidels it proves.
For when he rides against them on campaign
He uses it to trip their horses hooves.
It aids him well in forest and on plain,
Or any other places where he moves
Against the Moor. But with his death, alas!
The Sacred Hole from mortal realms doth pass.
27.
This relic Raphael takes to Earth below
Where, all unseen, he hovers o'er the War.
As night embraces Pennsic he doth go
To find The Duke and heal him before
The morning battle. Searching to and fro,
He comes to Inman by the lake's dark shore
In Pain's cruel grip, feet stumbling in the night.
Raphael hides himself just out of sight.
28.
Directly in Pain-ridden Inman's path,
Cloaked by a darkness through which none can see,
Raphael does this sacred relic cast:
This blessed Sacred Hole of Calvary.
The Duke's left foot within it catches fast.
His whole spine twists, and cracks so loud that he
At first fears he most surely now will lose
Those faculties which yet remain in use.
29.
But what transpired was this: the Holy touch
Of Golgoth's Sacred Hole did so distract
Foul Pain with mortal fear it proved too much.
She leapt straightway from good Sir Inman's back.
So eager to release him from her clutch
She pushed from off his spine and it went crack!
And twisted in a manner most alarming.
But -fear not!- it did no further harming.
30.
Instead, as Inman foot from Hole doth draw
He straightens, and he finds to his delight
His back, though slightly tenderish and raw,
Has re-aligned itself and feels aright!
His cure is so complete and whole withal
He feels that he might even go and fight!
His armor now he dons in happiness
Which only yesterday caused such distress.
31.
And now my friends my tale comes to a close;
I swear that all that I report is true.
For I, myself, these glorious miracles
Did witness as I did report to you.
I saw his back as bent as firing bows,
Yet saw him in the Woods as good as new.
So hardy was his fighting and his manner
That `twas his unit took the Midrealm's banner.
32.
So let us charge our glasses now and praise
This noblest knight, the greatest and the best.
And wish him now long life and happy days,
Who passed the good Lord's harshest, fiercest test.
Vivat! Huzzah! All lands salute His Grace,
Who faced the cruelest fate with smile and jest.
His virtues and his courage should inspire
All men at arms, from knight to lowest squire.